"My name's Jag Steele. I’m the lead singer and guitarist to the band Pandemic Sorrow, and I have a drug problem. Well, I mean it's not really a problem – unless you count the fact that I almost made my heart explode from all the blow I shoved up my nose a few weeks back..."
That was my introduction during my first stint in rehab. I'm messed up. If you asked anybody who I am there’s a list they will go down: Famous, rock star, legend, drug addict, womanizing man-whore, but if you asked me, I wouldn't have the first idea of what to say, because I don’t know who Jag Steele is. Really, I’m living every other damn person's dream, and all I want is reality.
Roxy Slade, that girl was my reality. My brutally flawed and beautifully broken reality. And she hated everything I stood for. To her I was just one of “those guys”, and she’d rather be buried alive with poisonous snakes than give someone like me a piece of toilet paper to wipe their ass with. Brutal. Life. Is. Brutal. And it is just a giant pain, which is why I chase after anything to make it numb, anything that can fill this void. I just want anything that can make me not feel. I just don't want to feel.
My opinion:
Jag, the lead singer of the Pandemic Sorrow, loved drugs alcohol and sex. He had survived his first OD, gone through rehab but he refused to give up on drugs. He tried to stay clean for a while but he couldn't cope with whatever life through at him. At a signing he met the only woman who hated him and his music. At first he didn't like that, later he took it as a challenge. He was determined to make Roxy to like him. She was a real bitch to him the first few times but then she warmed up at him. They started hang out and mess around. He liked her because she was real and broken like him. Jag was lost but with her felt like he finally meant something. Roxy didn't like his addiction and he knew that at some point it would cause problems tho their relationship. The lies he kept telling her finally caught up with him. His stupid behavior towards Roxy and the lies of his family ended the only good thing that had happened to him and almost cost him his life. After his death experience Jagger realised who he was and that he needed to fight, for the first time in his life, so he can get back what he really wanted.
This is quite different from the other rockstar stories i have read in the past. It doesn't have the fairy tale storyline, it's mostly about pain and sorrow and a little hapiness here and there. In the whole story we read about how his dreams and then his addiction are ruining his life. Then we see him make an attempt to be happy with a girl who understood who he really was, even though he had no clue about it, but he ruins that as well (at first). In most stories when someone is struggling with an addiction you see the rest of the characters are trying to support him, but in this one is the exact opposite. Every single one of his friends were pushing him on the drugs, which i have to say it pissed me off. The only decent and likable character for me was Roxy. She was broken, but at least she knew who she was and what she wanted from her life. Jagger was nothing like her, he might be broken but he was lost as well. He was arrogant, rude, thought he was a sex god (maybe he was right in that one) and had tons of issues because of his family. The only part that i liked was the last few chapters where Jagger finally made the right decision to run after her and prove his love to her.
You can buy it on Amazon:
 by Stevie J. Cole){kind=link}
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